Chap Chat

Where do you belong…?

When I was younger, I found it very hard to ‘belong’ to a group… We started moving around just when I started high school. In Grade 7 it wasn’t so bad - It was my first move; I was reasonably confident in myself; and it was to a smaller school in a smaller town where everyone tended to join in together. In Grade 8, I went to three different schools in three different towns… This was much harder. By the third school I had lost my confidence and my ability to ‘make friends’. I didn’t know how to start a friendship, I didn’t know how to just join in with another group. I was very much an ‘outsider’…

 I guess that my biggest problem was the fact that I didn’t really have much confidence in myself – I have always been surprised when others want to be friends with me, as my low self-esteem makes me assume that I am not worth knowing… Although this is not true, it makes me portray a different person to others than who I really am. A friend at school later told me that at first she thought I was a snob, because I didn’t seem to want to play with them… I certainly wasn’t a snob, I just didn’t know how to join in…

Eventually I was asked to join a Youth Group… This gave me a group to be a part of, and I finally made some friends and felt like I belonged. I finally gained my confidence back, and now I try to look out for others who seem to be on their own.

Do you belong? It is really important to be part of a group. If you are part of a group, you are never truly alone…

If you are not part of a group now, there are many options. Some people belong to a sporting group, but this may not be for you. There are several youth groups which run locally (for those in my region): Midway Point, Sorell, Carlton, Primrose Sands… some are run by the council, some by community members, some by churches. If you would like to be part of a group, but don’t know how or where, just ask me and I will help find somewhere for you.

Do you belong? I hope so…

Shalom

What is it about swearing that sets some people off? For some of you ’swear’ words may be part of your normal language – especially if it’s all around you at home and with friends. If this is the case for you, then it may be confusing when teachers and other adults seem surprised or shocked if you use ‘inappropriate’ language. So, if swearing is so widely used, why do people get so upset about it?

 Over the next few weeks our school is looking at inappropriate language. It’s all about learning when it’s okay to use it, and when it’s not.

Some inappropriate language is never okay. When words are used in an abusive manner, or to deliberately offend, this is not okay. There is a tendency to use offensive language and name calling, especially when fighting amongst friends, which can be hurtful and demeaning. There is a saying that goes “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me”. This is a misleading saying, because I have seen many people hurt by what their ‘friends’ have been saying about them.

How do you react when you are feeling hurt? Do you retaliate with more name-calling in return? Before you react, have a think about what you are wanting to say and do. Would you feel hurt or demeaned by it? There is another saying which says ”Treat others the way you would want to be treated” – you may have heard it said differently – “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”. In other words, if you wouldn’t like to hear certain words said against you, or if you would feel hurt if you were treated in a certain way, don’t do it to other people.

Mind your language, and think about your behaviour. What would you think of you if you were listening in to yourself…?

Shalom

I was reading an article today that talked about the fact that we often say we are ‘just’ something: “I’m just a kid”, “I’m just a soccer player”, “I’m just a computer nerd”, and the one I have heard a lot “I’m just a housewife”…

The truth is, no one is ‘just’ anything… Each person is unique and individual, special because no one is quite like you.

If you ever hear yourself saying “I’m just a …”, stop yourself and leave out the ‘just’. Take pride in what you are and what you can become.

You are not ‘just’ anything… You are you, I am me – and proud of it!

Shalom